Life Update/March in a Nutshell - Tough Choices, Coronavirus, Becoming an Adult

Hey Everyone,

It's been almost 2 full weeks that I've been quarantined at home because of the Coronavirus. If you're anything like me, you're completely sick of talking about it because it's all that surrounds us, unfortunately, that is the scary reality we're all living in right now. The entire world is experiencing the same thing: fear, uncertainty, and loss. We are all being told to stay home and avoid contact with anyone you don't live with but many of us have nothing to do because we've lost our jobs or our jobs cannot be done remotely. Although some have it worse than others, no matter how fortunate you are, we are all going through this together and this takes a toll on everyone. It is a very stressful thing to go through and emotionally, it can be very draining. When you choose to stay home and be lazy, it's a blessing, but when you are forced to, it feels like prison. You cannot see friends, you cannot workout in your usual gym with all your equipment, you cannot eat all the foods you want because they are sold out in stores, you cannot get paid because your workplaced is shut down; worst of all, you don't know how much longer this will last. It might be 2 more weeks; it might be 2 more months. Many of us don't know when our next paychecks will arrive or when we can see our families/friends again. I'd like you to know, whoever is reading this, that I understand your troubles and we will make it through this. Don't worry too much about the weight you may put on because of all the baking you've done, or the lack of workouts, or the constant laying in bed. It is not your fault and it's ok if you aren't motivated to do an at home HIIT workout. They aren't for everyone and although your fitness journey has paused and maybe you've taken a few steps back, you will get back into it. We all will. For those of you who lost your job or who aren't getting paid while your job is closed, you will find a way. Whether you file for unemployment, get a job at a grocery store, or use up your savings, this will get fixed. Eventually you'll be able to go to work, you'll rebuild your savings, and you'll be able to pay your bills. In a moment, I will share with all of you the state of my life currently, but first let me fill you in on the changes that have recently evolved for me personally. I realize it's been a while since I've written a blog post so I want to get back into it with something relevant but also personal.

Back in November, I quit my job as a server because I was extremely unhappy with the environment of the workplace. I was hoping to land a 'normal' 9-5 job as a receptionist, personal assistant, secretary, etc. In the mean time, my uncle offered me a part time job at his workplace serving for the retreats they held there. That allowed me to continue to pay for my college loans, groceries, gas, etc. I was very unsuccessful at landing the job I'd been hoping for and started to lose hope. At this point, I didn't have any idea what I wanted to do. My mind shuffled from flight attendant to youtuber to wedding planner (as was the original plan) to world traveler (the ideal if logistics worked out) to secretary. The problem was actually choosing one. I kept stressing about what jobs to apply for or to follow up with for an interview. I know you're probably thinking, 'just go for any of them and see where it lands you!' And you'd be right, that's exactly what I should've done, but it wasn't just picking a path or landing one.

The root of why I needed a job, and preferably soon, was because I needed money. Money to pay my mom for health insurance, car insurance, doctors appointments, everything! Money to finally move back out of her house and still make enough to save for retirement, emergencies, and things like travel, a car, or even a wedding down the road.

If I chose wedding planning, I'd have to find a job in the industry to make money and get my name out there before the business I have can take off and I can have full time clients. Those jobs are few and far between, especially in CT. And I needed something in CT before I could move somewhere else like Boston where those jobs are more common and more high profile. So you see my dilemma.

Youtube is intriguing to so many millenials and Gen Z'ers these days but again it takes years before you can make a substantial living off of it or any other social media like my instagram or even this blog, for instance.

Secretary seemed like the easiest route but I had no experience and had completely failed thus far.

I was so close to being a world traveler at one point...I had discovered websites where you could apply to be an Au Pair for families around the world and met one in New Zealand. We facetimed and did our research and it seemed like a great fit. I had applied for a visa and was waiting to get approved when the family told me they decided on someone else. I didn't even know they were looking! Suffice to say, that broke my spirit and I gave up soon after on that path. It seemed too rushed to find a brand new family, save up money, buy flights, and go and come back after just a few months there in order to return in time for summer camp.

A close friend of mine from Nashville just got through her flight attendant training and seeing her start that journey made me wonder if it was something I would enjoy too. However, I backed off that option as well because there are too many unknowns with location and timeframe.

All of these different thoughts, pros and cons, outcomes and journeys, were constantly on loop in my mind. Thankfully my mom gave me the support emotionally and financially to relax and just sort of see how things played out. She kept saying that this isn't a life or death choice like I was making it out to be. This didn't have to be forever. It was just a starting point. If I loved it, it might lead me somewhere down the same path, if not, it would lead me somewhere new until I landed where I'm supposed to be.

Then something happened. I don't know how many of you read my New Year's Resolution post but I highly recommend it. As I was writing it, I think I motivated myself. I hope I motivated even just one of you as well but just as the cliche goes, on January 1st, I joined a gym. But not just any gym, The Edge Fitness Clubs. A brand new gym to West Hartford but the business created it's first location right here in CT back in the 80s. I bought some cute workout clothes from Fabletics, which I'll be reviewing here soon because I love it so much (stay tuned), to get myself feeling and looking cute. You may hate the girls in the gym with matching bras and leggings, but for me, it gets me pumped to work hard, sweat, and get my body looking even better. My first time in the gym I was amazed. Beautiful facilities with every machine you could want, resistance machines, cardio galore, free weights section, tanning and massage area, sauna, workout classes, spin classes, small group classes with personal trainers, in body scanner, and a MOVIE THEATER!! What more could you ask for. The biggest thing that excited me and still baffles me to this day, is the prices they offer. This gym was the perfect place for me to get in all types of workouts, switch it up when I needed, workout when I wasn't motivated, and still feel relaxed at the end of it. If you truly take advantage of your membership, no matter what level you have, this is a place for everyone, and the best part, I never feel judged when I walk in. Whether you're a body builder or just starting out, it was such an energetic, happy atmosphere that you want to be in for hours. The staff is what makes it stand out from any other gym. What I realized after that first workout, is that this was the exact atmosphere I had been missing from my old job. It hit me a few weeks later that I needed to work here. With my mindset about fitness completely changed (I'll be writing about my fitness journey when this quarantine is over), this felt like home.

I sent in an application and long story short, I got an interview at West Hartford which turned out to be fully staffed. They sent my name to the Manchester location and I got the job at the front desk. I was working there until all the gyms got shut down from Coronavirus. I look forward to returning to work when this is all over. But wait, the story isn't over yet. I got a call back from a wedding venue called The Riverview right around the time I interviewed at The Edge. I went in for a first interview, then a second interview, and then they wanted a third working interview, where I'd help them out at an event.

This is when I met a true crossroads. It was becoming more and more clear to me that this was a long time career opportunity. This would allow me to work all different kinds of events, corporate, proms, weddings, birthdays, holidays, and more. It would get my name in the event industry. I could create a portfolio of my work and climb the ladder through the company. At this point, they basically said if I still wanted the job at the end of the working interview, it was mine.

You might've remembered I mentioned before that I was committed to camp again this summer. Now to an outside eye, anyone would say I was crazy to pass up a job like this for summer camp, but let me put this in perspective for you. I have been going to summer camp since I was 8 years old. I spent longer and longer away every year and loved it. I missed out on seeing friends back home, traveling, graduation parties, even the yearly family vacation to Cape Cod. Camp was my home, even in the bad times, I wouldn't have traded it for the world. After careful consideration of how, if, and when I should tell Riverview about camp, I called the manager to let her know my predicament before working the event. It's not that I didn't want the job, it was great money and great exposure to the industry I would hopefully one day run my own successful business in full time. However, camp was counting on me, it would've been my fifth year at this camp and second year as assistant waterfront director. The campers all knew me well and I was one of the staff members who'd worked there the longest. Since I didin't go there as a kid, it was rare for someone to stay for that many years. Usually after college, camp ends and the real world begins. Which is exactly the problem I was having. After sharing my situation, not without a few tears, they were extrememly sympathetic and kind but ultimately against camp. As you could imagine, summer is the busiest season for events, especially weddings, and would be a crucial time for me to be there. They gave me a choice of camp or this job and told me to go through the event and then take as much time as I needed to make a decision.

Many tears, conversations with friends, my mom, and my grandparents later, I decided to back out of camp. The reason, I realized, I was having so much difficultly with this choice was because I was letting go of childhood. Everyone says adulthood is hard and the transition is even harder but I thought I had already gone through it and it wasn't that bad. I had moved out, even if temporarily, I lived on my own, paid all my bills, worked for all my money. But boy was I wrong. I had forgotten one little piece; I was still holding on to summer vacation. From kindergarten to college, every year we work so hard and then we get a three month break. Our bodies are accostomed to it. We plan our lives around it. But for adults, this disappears. You work everyday, or at least 5 days a week, all year long. If you want a vacation, you have to earn it. And even then, its not for three months. I would never be free again. I'd be stuck in the mundane world of living to work... but isn't that what I had asked for? What I wanted? Once I built the stable foundation, I could finally work to live...

For so many years I just planned my life around camp. I told myself that camp was the reset point of a new year and I could just get a new job or move somewhere new or travel right after camp. The truth is, all of those things were only true because I made it so. This time, camp really was holding me back. I hadn't sacrificed that much in the past but if I took this job, I'd be able to move out, buy a new car, cover all my own bills, and still have money leftover to save every month. Of course this was heartbreaking to think of all the things I'd miss out on, all the people I'd miss, and the fun I wouldn't have, but on the flip side, I thought about all that I'd miss if I went to camp, all the opportunities, experience, people, and more that come with finally working in the wedding industry full time. I reached out to camp and then let Riverview know that I was excited to be joining the team! I filled out my paperwork and was ready for the next event... when everything closed down because of Coronavirus. It was so disappointing and I'm still trying to come to terms with it. Giving up camp for maybe no reason. Camp might not even run. Who knows when I'll be able to work my first event. I don't know when I'll be able to move out or have any of the other things that came with this well paying job. But that's when I have to let it play out because everything happens for a reason and it will all work out soon enough.

I hope that some of you can try to accept your new situation the way I have. I know it's tough and we all are losing so much but be grateful for what you have and in times of trouble, try to help those who don't have any help.

I hope I made your day more interesting for even just 10 minutes,

Gabriella